Moving to another country is often seen as a new beginning.
It is an important step, an opportunity, a dream come true.
We prepare carefully for this moment: we organize the paperwork, look for a home, find schools for the children, plan transportation, financial stability, and all the practical details that come with relocation.
And yet, even when everything seems to be under control, many people discover after a while that something difficult to explain is happening inside them.
At first, there is a feeling of tiredness, and you look forward to the weekend so you can rest. But the rest never really comes, and suddenly your energy and desire to see other people disappear.
Little by little, a state of unease sets in, seeming to come “out of nowhere”.
And over time, you begin to wonder whether the move was a good decision. There are many positive changes: you are probably in a quieter place, with more professional opportunities, and you now have greater financial stability. Even so, you wonder whether your place is really here, or whether it would be better to return to your country of origin. There, you had already built an identity: you had your passions, your friends, your family, your favorite places, your career that you had worked so hard to build.
Here, it is cleaner, but you do not yet know the places. Here, people have a more positive mindset, but because you speak another language, sometimes it feels difficult to express exactly what you want to say. Here, it is quieter, but inside you there are countless thoughts running in the background, analyzing, calculating, translating, and questioning everything, every step of the way.
And often, people end up asking themselves:
“Why is this so hard for me, if I chose this change?”
The reality is that relocation is not just a change of address.
For the brain and for our nervous system, it can represent a massive loss of safety cues.
This experience is also called Ulysses Syndrome.
What is Ulysses Syndrome?
Ulysses Syndrome describes the intense and prolonged emotional stress that people may experience when they migrate or relocate to another country.
The name comes from the character Ulysses (Odysseus) in Greek mythology, the man on a long, difficult journey full of uncertainty, far from home and from everything familiar to him.
In real life, this syndrome appears when a person has to adapt to many changes at the same time:
Loss of the familiar environment
Distance from family and friends
Language barriers
Cultural differences
Lack of a support network
Pressure to integrate
New responsibilities
The constant feeling that you have to manage everything on your own
Even when relocation was a desired and carefully planned choice, the emotional impact can be overwhelming.
How does it manifest?
Ulysses Syndrome does not look the same for everyone.
Sometimes it is subtle and appears gradually. Other times, people feel as though they are emotionally fading without understanding why.
Among the most common manifestations are:
Anxiety or a constant state of alert
Persistent physical fatigue
Difficulty concentrating (“brain fog”)
Irritability
Sleep disturbances
Sadness or a feeling of inner emptiness
Social isolation
The feeling that you are no longer yourself
Difficulties adapting as a couple or within the family
Very often, people try to ignore these signals, telling themselves that they just need to be stronger and adapt more quickly. And when you talk to your loved ones, in an attempt to encourage you, they may say things like: “if others managed, you have to manage too” or “you wanted to move, so why are you complaining now?”, which only deepens the feeling of loneliness.
But our body and brain have limits.
When we suddenly lose the people, places, and routines that gave us a sense of safety, the nervous system can enter a prolonged state of survival. In practice, the brain perceives the change as a possible danger and remains stuck in “alert mode”.
The impact on relationships and family
Relocation rarely affects just one person.
In a couple, partners often adapt at different rhythms.
One may begin to feel “at home” more quickly, while the other is still experiencing insecurity, anxiety, or isolation.
Over time, this difference can create tension, misunderstandings, and emotional distance.
Children also feel the change deeply, even if they do not always express it directly. They have to process the loss of their familiar environment, learn a new language, make friends, and adapt to a different educational system.
Very often, the entire family tries to function “normally”, while each member carries their own emotional struggle inside.
Perhaps one of the most important ideas to remember is this:
The fact that this is hard does not mean you made the wrong choice.
And it does not mean you are weak.
In many cases, what you are feeling is simply the normal reaction of a nervous system overloaded by too much stress, too many changes, and too little emotional safety.
Real adaptation to a new country is not only practical.
It is also psychological, emotional, and relational.
And this part is often ignored.
How can psychotherapy help?
When we go through an intense period of change, what we need first and foremost is a safe space.
A place where we can speak freely about what we feel, without the pressure to adapt more quickly or to be okay.
Psychotherapy can help with:
Processing losses and changes
Reducing anxiety and emotional overload
Reconnecting with your own resources
Improving couple and family relationships
Regaining a sense of stability and safety
The role of Neurofeedback in regulating the nervous system
Sometimes, the stress of relocation does not remain only on an emotional level.
The body also begins to protest and manifest different symptoms.
Sleep difficulties, constant tension, anxiety, exhaustion, or the feeling that the mind can no longer stop may appear.
In such situations, Neurofeedback can be a valuable form of support.
Neurofeedback is a gentle, non-invasive method of training the brain, helping the nervous system come out of the constant state of alert and regain its natural balance.
After a process of regulation, many people describe greater mental clarity, inner quiet, deep calm, and a better ability to adapt.
Relocation can, in time, become “home”
Although the beginning can be challenging, it is important to know that this period does not last forever.
With the right support, with patience, and with space to “digest” all the emotions that come with relocation, people gradually manage to rebuild their sense of stability, belonging, and safety.
Relocation is one of the biggest changes a person can go through.
And sometimes, what we need most, after perhaps having been too strong for too long, is to allow ourselves to speak openly about what is happening inside us, so that we can also understand what our real needs are now and how we can meet them, so that we no longer have to carry everything alone.
Video: What is Ulysses Syndrome?
You can watch the video material in which I talk about the emotional impact of relocation and about Ulysses Syndrome.
If you recognize yourself in some of these experiences and feel that you need support, we are herefor you.
In our practice in the Netherlands, we offer individual, couples, and family psychotherapy, as well as Neurofeedback, in a safe, empathetic, and confidential space.